


the Slytherins play a drinking game

by libbixxx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Firewhiskey, Slytherins Being Slytherins, drinking game, house banter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 02:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3633111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/libbixxx/pseuds/libbixxx





	1. Chapter 1

When Albus got an emergency floo call from the hospital wing, he never thought he'd see the whole of Slytherin house there, let alone with alcohol poisoning...although, he noticed, one Draco Malfoy was suspiciously absent...  
"Poppy!" He exclaimed, "what, in the name of Merlin's saggy underpants, is going on here!? And why do they all keep intermittently chuckling at Potter's name being muttered!?" madam Pomfrey was torn between being amused, and furious. "the children all had rather a little too much fun last night, headmaster, and they're all a tad under the weather, perhaps it would be worth letting the rest of the school know that the Slytherins are ill, and that smuggling alcohol into school is STILL forbidden. Even if one's father IS on the board of governors.. Yes, they've all dubbed young Malfoy as the reason for their condition, though I suspect there's more to it than that. Perhaps you'd care to get Severus a glass of whiskey before announcing it at dinner...?"


	2. Chapter 2

"If I could have but a moment of your time, I have an important announcement to make" the hall fell silent "it has come to my attention that certain students are using their parental influence to lend credence to the permission of inappropriate behaviour in the common room" a piercing glare was pinned to Draco Malfoy "and in light of recent events that I'm sure you were all aware of before I was, I have had to suspend the whole of Slytherin house for two weeks" a lone voice could be heard to say "this is all Potter's fault... I'll tell my father, he'll have Potter put in his rightful place... Dammit Potter."   
Snape barely had enough time for each shot before a new one was necessary. Within no time at all, the Potions Master was completely off his face, and in his severely inebriated state, he seemed to think it a good idea to jump up onto his chair, hop over the table and stalk towards the young Malfoy heir "Draconis Lucius Malfoy, you will cease your cockblocked whining at once. Your pathetic crush whilst sickeningly clichéd, is pointless, he and the know-it-all chit have been shagging since fourth year" and with that he swooped into his animagus form and fluttered off to the ceiling to hang about and watch the dunderheaded morons' reactions.


	3. Chapter 3

In light of recent events, Harry figured the prank he was about to pull wasn’t that unjustified.

And besides, everyone suspected anyway.

 

“POTTEEEERRR! WHAT THE BUGGERY FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY GLAMOURS!?” Snape choked and fled, followed shortly by a furious and crying Draco Malfoy.

The pictures went on sale that night, courtesy of the Weasley twins. “DUNGEON BAT SPEWS GROG AT NEWS OF SPROG!” they called from their stall just outside the great hall. The pictures were selling like nobody’s business, and quite a few had been discretely passed to the daily prophet and other such _reputable and respected_ _journalistic media._

The wizarding world was in a teensy bit of a kerfuffle, and as a result, most of the student population were sporting severe hangovers, or they would be if they ever had long enough to stop drinking…listening charms were both a blessing and a curse, they decided- whilst the news Draco had been disowned by his step-father, and custody granted to his biological father made everyone glad of the charm, the endless stream of potter this, and potter that, made sure everyone was thoroughly trollied a goodly proportion of the time…


	4. Chapter 4

"Draco Lucius Malfoy. Kindly tell me what it is that I just read? And moreover, why I haven't heard anything from either of the guilty parties before now? Your mother has brought shame on our family, and I am having to work very hard just to maintain our image, and this would have been good to know beforehand, so I need to know how exactly to combat this. Leave my sight, I have to speak to my wife." 

A few hours later, a sorry Lucius Malfoy was seen trudging down the path of his manor, sadly ambling towards the gardener's cottage, where he had been instructed to remain until he could respond like a human being rather than a politically orientated robot. 

He wasn't seen in the manor again for weeks, and Narcissa was frequently seen on the arm of one Severus Snape, and even attended the Ministry's summer gala with him- much to the delight of one Rita Skeeter


End file.
